That's me exhaling because our home study is basically over! Last week Jason and I drove to Charleston for the 3 hour interview process then 2 days ago our sweet social worker drove here to conduct individual interviews of me and Jason and do a home safety check and meet our kiddos. For those of you who don't know, as I didn't just weeks ago, the home study actually consists of all these visits. I had already done research to know that to apply for any adoption grants you had to "have your first home study done." Then, when we applied and found out it requires four face-to-face visits with costs broken down over each visit, I thought only the first one was what was needed for grants. Couldn't have been more wrong!!! Those four visits (two of which can be done at one visit as we had this last week) comprise the whole of THE HOME STUDY. Of which, has to be formally written up by our social worker and four copies notarized for various places it has to be sent. If you're adding this up in your head, we have only had 3 visits, you are correct. The fourth visit will be when she gives us these notarized copies and fills us in on the post-placement visits. So weird that this part is done until we get our child home!
The time with our social worker was really good. She has been through this many times and is very helpful. I didn't realize it but went in to this thinking this was a "weeding out" process, they are trying to get rid of the weak ones! Yep, I am in the medical field! Once again, couldn't have been more wrong. She is an advocate for the child with no family. Like me, she wants to see these kids meet their forever families! She wants us to be ready, not scared. She wants to facilitate, not prevent. She's optimistic, not pessimistic. We talked about all the important stuff- we are now going to be a multi-racial family not to mention an adoptive family, wow. Jason and I had talked a lot about this, we are not naive. Yet, the more you talk it out, the more it sinks in, for real! She got to see our kids interact- they are the only thing "Beaver Cleaver-esque" about our family. I can say this because I don't believe I can take any credit- but, they get along fantastically, very minor frustrations and that is usually over Ruby hugging Linc too long! The social worker commented on how we should be aware that Ruby may have a hard time if our next child does not respond to her in the same way Lincoln clearly has! So true!
When asked, Ruby said she is "so excited" about getting a new sister. In fact, from that point on the answer to every question was "play with little sister"- what is your favorite activity? what do you like to do with your little brother? what do you like about preschool? Hilarious! Just like the little kids in Sunday School who answer Jesus to everything! With further prompting, she told the whole tale of liking to do puppet shows for Lincoln except he always tries to look behind the curtain!
The home safety check was not bad at all. I am not a big "cleaner," I do just enough to not be gross! Seriously, just being honest. Nope, don't move the furniture every time I vacuum, the tops of taller things don't get dusted very often, I don't sweep daily, I should but I don't. I even have people over at my house a couple times a week. Maybe that's why I have become less concerned about it, I just can't. I have two small kids who literally come behind me messing as I straighten, I work a couple days a week, and want my home to be open to whomever needs to stop by. I want to impress the social worker, sure, but I just could not bring myself to scrub down the house. Not to mention, she told me not to worry. Yes, I cleaned more than the usual, scrubbed the kitchen floor, organized the back laundry room, etc. I do like a good excuse to do all that stuff, plus it takes my mind off the many things flooding it over this adoption! So, at the end of the day, we have to put up a hand railing down the four back outside stairs, take pictures of the fire escape ladders and fire extinguisher we have on order, and other minor things. Really nothing unreasonable, which also was a surprise.
About a month and it should be final. That piece of the puzzle complete. Another step closer. I cannot believe it! Thanks for the prayers. For those of you who knew via facebook, our A/C broke the day before she was to come. I did not "warm" (get it? warm?) to the idea of deep cleaning in the hot house! But, by afternoon naps it was fixed and cooling down. Your prayers really protected my attitude, because I really didn't wig out, I was just glad it wasn't flooded or something else that would have made it difficult to check the house and thus prolong the process for weeks as Jason is gone next week then we are on vacation the next. So, thank you! And now, more paperwork for the dossier and start work on grant applications- keep the prayers coming!
