Why didn't anyone come for me?

The first weekend of October we had another yard sale. I was praying for the $830 we needed to send with some immigration paperwork that we would need to then send with the mountain of paperwork to Ethiopia (also with $7700). To be honest, as the days went by I just hoped for $500. We got lots of generous donations to sell and at the end of the day the Lord blessed us with a little over $900. Since then, I have learned the immigration fees have gone up and we need that amount to cover the new cost! Isn't God amazing like that! It was a gorgeous fall day, and since I had already done one of these I didn't feel as stressed, which was so nice!

I can't stop thinking about this young woman that was shopping at our sale. She was looking at our t-shirts and asked about what it meant. When I explained to her that this sale was a fundraiser for our adoption she went on to ask, "Why are you adopting from Ethiopia when there are so many kids without homes here in the states? I am not trying to be nosey, it's just that I grew up in the foster care system." My heart sank. This isn't the first time I've had this question posed to me, in fact, at the last yard sale we had a couple tell us just how much they disagreed with international adoption when there are orphans here in the states. Yet, honestly, it was easy to write them off after hearing them demean the birth mom of their child because she went and got "knocked up" again and they guessed they were going to adopt that baby too! Yeah, I know, don't get me started....

But this girl hurt my heart. I had nothing to say but knew nothing trite would quite hit on her real question- "why didn't anyone come for me?" I tried to be as honest as I could- I've always known I would adopt and for whatever reason God impressed on me early two countries, China and Africa. I told her I ached for the needs of orphans everywhere, this is just how I was led. She was very kind and said she could not afford a t-shirt, but handed me a couple of dollars. I was pulled away by some other shoppers and didn't see her again.

I have been hesitant to write much on this blog on the need of orphans, the need for people to consider adoption. I don't want to become an emotionalist about this (if that's even a word). I don't want to offend people with the feeling that they are doing something wrong by not adopting. That's not how I feel. I don't like how many view this as a Christian trend and I don't want to be categorized as such. Over the past 6 years, in particular, I have treasured the knowledge God has given me about my acceptance as His child based only on what He did for me, not what I can do. I don't want to be on the other side again, touting my Christian credentialing (you know, the outreach I've done, the mission trips, the Bible studies I've led, the number of people I've shared the gospel with). And yet, God does ask certain things of us. Adoption is a serious decision, it's not for everyone.

Our social worker really got me thinking about what she called a savior complex. Basically, she didn't want anyone pursuing adoption to "save" a child. To her, it should be more like- "we want kids, there are kids who need families, and this is how we want to grow our family." I definitely don't disagree, if you enter with some lofty pursuit of saving alone, and have no realistic consideration of the impact on you, the child, your family- you need to re-think your decision. And yet, after thinking and thinking this over, this savior "complex" is part of it for me, and I don't think this is wrong. God calls Christians to care for orphans. We do this because we were once orphans, fatherless. Everything we do is because our Father did it first. When we take part in His plan, we not only grow more in Him, we point others to Him. I am not THE Savior, but by taking part in His plan to save an orphan I can point that child to who really came after her. Unwittingly, the girl at the yard sale played a part in that plan by the few dollars she gave. Though I never got to share with her, I pray someday she knows there is a Father in pursuit of her. I pray these words are used to remind everyone of our own need, of the reality of the plight of those children growing up without families, and of those longing to know their Father in heaven.

(an article that stole all of my thoughts, but says it much better than I could:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2010/july/10.18.html?start=4)